SELWYN DORFMAN

Who dreams up all these daft ideas?

THERE was unsettling news from Egypt last week where, in a TV debate, the presidential candidates (the non-disqualified ones) battled to outdo each other in their calls to revise (scrap) the 1979 peace treaty with Israel.

Commentators say there's nothing to worry about. Israel-bashing wins votes but no responsible contender for office would want to undermine a treaty which has served both sides well.

I'm not worried about responsible people - it's the irresponsible folk who keep me awake at night. They all claim they are acting in the nation's best interest, but so what?

No one admits to being evil. Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Anders Breivik - even the Bond villains planning to take over the world - all insist that their intentions are good.

The late Osama Bin Laden, don't forget, maintained he was a hero waging war against "Satan" (America and the Jews).

Anyway, well-intentioned or not, tearing up the Israel/Egypt peace treaty seems to me to be a very bad idea.

Which makes me think: Who comes up with all these bad ideas? In everyday life mistakes are unavoidable but ideas need careful thought and long-term planning.

You would think that our leaders and their advisers, most of whom went to private schools and top universities, would get things right occasionally.

So where do they get their stupid ideas from? I'll bet you could scribble down half a dozen of these right now on the back of an envelope.

Here are mine:

1) THE ARAB SPRING. What is this all about? I am in favour of overthrowing dictators but not to make way for religious nutcases who want to impose their own brand of tyranny.

Did no one see this coming? Or perhaps that was the plan all along! Spring to winter without summer in between is a pretty bad idea (though British weather gives us that two years out of three).

2) THE LONDON OLYMPICS. This mishugas was cooked up by Tony Blair and Ken Livingstone and now they've both scarpered. Hands up anyone who thinks that £11 billion (and counting) is money well spent.

I thought so; Just Seb Coe and a handful of sports fanatics. I speak for 90 per cent of the population who, like me, enjoy watching sport on TV but think that in these cash-straightened times, squandering such a huge amount of tax payers' money on hop, skip and jumping is scandalous.

And don't talk to me about regeneration or "legacy". Eleven billion pounds to build decent homes and facilities in Stratford, East London? Pull the other one!

3) BUS SEGREGATION. I don't know who came up with this one but now that the Israeli Supreme Court has effectively declared it illegal, I hope the authorities will eventually get round to stamping it out.

Because if they don't, then it will only be a matter of time before extremists demand separate buses altogether for men and women.

After that they will insist on men and women walking on opposite sides of the street, possibly with a mechitzah down the middle of the road.

4) THE EURO. The notion that Germany, Greece and other diverse countries could share a common currency while maintaining completely separate economies has to be one of the craziest ideas of modern times.

And now it is all ending in tears. My sympathies are with the ordinary people across Europe who are unemployed with little prospect of an upturn in fortunes.

What a mess! Gordon Brown has a lot to answer for, but he deserves credit for keeping us out of the euro.

5) ALCOHOL MINIMUM PRICING. If you double the price of Scotch, I may drink less. But moderate drinkers like me are not the problem. Alcoholics are, by definition, addicted to alcohol.

If the price goes up, they will just find the money from somewhere - the rent, the kids' piggy banks.

Tackling alcoholism and binge drinking by increasing the price of alcohol has to be one of the dumbest ideas yet.

6) THE BAN ON FOX HUNTING. Back in the good old days, foxes, which even the RSPCA classifies as vermin, were timid creatures that rarely ventured outside their dens for fear of dogs.

Now that fox hunting is banned, foxes are bigger, bolder and brasher than ever. They loiter outside kebab takeaways.

They even have their own show now on telly (no, not Basil Brush, I meant Foxes Live on Channel 4).

And I have just got back my beloved Ford Mondeo, which was nearly written off last month following a 70 mph altercation with an impudent but stationary fox on the M5 in Worcestershire.

The fox came out of it rather badly. But if I had swerved, I might have lost control of the vehicle.

Please don't make columnists an endangered species. Bring back fox hunting!

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